dear diary

before i decided to type this out,
there a so many things linger in my mind.. everything was a mess..
cheerfull moment..my love story...guilty feeling..jealousy and many else..
but the moment i lay my finger onto the keyboard,
everything just so hard to express..

why eyh??

GOD:
tonight i read 'yassin' (bcoz of malam jumaat maybe). thank god i feel way to peaceful that before.. i hope this life would be better each and every day and all i planned will come true.i guess my daddy feel hepy too.. itz been too long he havent heard me recite the quran.i feel hepy too.

Family:
i saw a drama on the hallmark channel today..not quite remember what was the title...but i am touched with the scene where a son have success in his life and make her momma proud..
i cried because, i never give my momma oppurtunities to be proud of me..
i wonder what would my momma felt if i could gave her that present, a present that cant be bought, just like in the scene..

then i turn on astro hitz, watching nickelback video clip, 'i'd come for you'..
and hell yess, im crying again..
the video itz about a daughter and father
that night, she follow her boyfriend out..
his father ask "who is that?" and the just go away..
stii the father set up dinner n wait for his daughter, yet she didnt showed up
at the car scene, the boyfriend try to take advantage on her..he text msg " 7 7 " to the daddy
as a symbol where she is, asking for help..
quickly, the father drive to that place n smash the boyfriend rite at his face
and save her daughter
OMG !! suddenly i remeber my dad..how he love me so much that he will trade his life for me

but why??
but why it is so hard for me to show that i love them..
but why i still keep this egois feeling inside of me

Boyfriend:
he's the one i loved..no one's above him...
believe me, im tired with all tha drama..
this time, i wanna make it real..
i wanna be with him..for a long2 time
but why he always acting like he dunt want it
im confused
damn confused
telling me that hewant to be my strength
but at the same time..he is the one who keep questioning me
i wonder what's on his mind
i hope that this will make me more stronger..stronger that ever
ey, u should hear kelly's song
" My Life Would Sucks Without You"
it really suits us
i miss you bie...wish i can see you more often...
i love you now n ever

Friends:
itz easier to find one when youre at the top,
but what happen when you dropped down,
there's no one at ur side.xcept those that really2 your friend
there are too many complicated things that happens in my life
and i feel so misearable about this..
i dedicated this to few of my "real" buddy..
thanksfor always be there for me pal, i dunno what i will do without you
thanks for being supportive and understanding
help me, to be a better person
take good care of me and i will take gud care of you

Study:
one more year to go and i cant wait to finish it up
in fact i dunt think that im in the mood for study,
god help me
just one more year to go...give me guts to face with every challenges at the the future
wish me luck