dear diary

before i decided to type this out,
there a so many things linger in my mind.. everything was a mess..
cheerfull moment..my love story...guilty feeling..jealousy and many else..
but the moment i lay my finger onto the keyboard,
everything just so hard to express..

why eyh??

GOD:
tonight i read 'yassin' (bcoz of malam jumaat maybe). thank god i feel way to peaceful that before.. i hope this life would be better each and every day and all i planned will come true.i guess my daddy feel hepy too.. itz been too long he havent heard me recite the quran.i feel hepy too.

Family:
i saw a drama on the hallmark channel today..not quite remember what was the title...but i am touched with the scene where a son have success in his life and make her momma proud..
i cried because, i never give my momma oppurtunities to be proud of me..
i wonder what would my momma felt if i could gave her that present, a present that cant be bought, just like in the scene..

then i turn on astro hitz, watching nickelback video clip, 'i'd come for you'..
and hell yess, im crying again..
the video itz about a daughter and father
that night, she follow her boyfriend out..
his father ask "who is that?" and the just go away..
stii the father set up dinner n wait for his daughter, yet she didnt showed up
at the car scene, the boyfriend try to take advantage on her..he text msg " 7 7 " to the daddy
as a symbol where she is, asking for help..
quickly, the father drive to that place n smash the boyfriend rite at his face
and save her daughter
OMG !! suddenly i remeber my dad..how he love me so much that he will trade his life for me

but why??
but why it is so hard for me to show that i love them..
but why i still keep this egois feeling inside of me

Boyfriend:
he's the one i loved..no one's above him...
believe me, im tired with all tha drama..
this time, i wanna make it real..
i wanna be with him..for a long2 time
but why he always acting like he dunt want it
im confused
damn confused
telling me that hewant to be my strength
but at the same time..he is the one who keep questioning me
i wonder what's on his mind
i hope that this will make me more stronger..stronger that ever
ey, u should hear kelly's song
" My Life Would Sucks Without You"
it really suits us
i miss you bie...wish i can see you more often...
i love you now n ever

Friends:
itz easier to find one when youre at the top,
but what happen when you dropped down,
there's no one at ur side.xcept those that really2 your friend
there are too many complicated things that happens in my life
and i feel so misearable about this..
i dedicated this to few of my "real" buddy..
thanksfor always be there for me pal, i dunno what i will do without you
thanks for being supportive and understanding
help me, to be a better person
take good care of me and i will take gud care of you

Study:
one more year to go and i cant wait to finish it up
in fact i dunt think that im in the mood for study,
god help me
just one more year to go...give me guts to face with every challenges at the the future
wish me luck

...perlis...

9 jun 2009
dah lamer rasanyer ak tak naek bus..cuak gak..mcm mle2 dulu..hehe...lagi2 aku naek bus 2 tingkat g kangar..(kan hari tu baru msk berita yang bas ke kangar 2 tgkat eksiden)..dah r pakcik bas tu gler...laju gler..pttnye smpi lam kul 6 ataw 7..tapi hari tu smpi pukul 5 pagi..aku nek ngan ein, mimi and fifi..pagi tu member perlis aku amek sbb bf si ein bz..ktorang lepak kat semarak (KKE)10 jun 2009..farah..shamimi and rad dah de sehari lagi al kat sini..g dating kot..besa lar tu..

pagi tu aku g wat rambut jap kat kedai abg lan..konon nk wat rambut ala2 rihanna tapi abg lan tak bagi sebab kata muka aku bulat..t mkin kembang..hahaha..so potong besa jer.mlm tu g mkn dengan member2..waaaa..sonok..dah lmer tak rasa suasana ni...

kenyang gler....tp smer still cuak asal presentation..logbook aku dah r tak lengkap lae..hisshh..tp mata aku ngantuk sgt..tdo sat lar..adoyaiii...hubby aku ni..nak tak nk je layan..tension r..siap kacau awek laen plak tyme aku takde..xper2..biorje r..mls nk campr adukk.

10 jun 2009

final day of this sem..hurm..akhirnya aku betul2 boleh menarik nafas lega dengan semua yang berlaku untuk sem ni.my presentation..eventhough sucks..yet still relief me..rasa mcm dah lepas beban yang besar...pe yang aku buat sem ni memang tak related langsung dgn course aku..aku rindukan dengan kertas lukisan aku..melukis..jmpe owang..wat survey market..software2..n hasilkan produk..entah kenapa aku rindu semua tu...dulu sem 3 tak ske pon..menyampah lagi adalah..hahaha)..nway..tadi ponaku kena daftar subjek..well, untuk thn akhir ni aku pilih design analysis..entah lah tak taw aku boleh bawa ataw tak..tapi lagi rela dari amek mechatronic..xnk aku blajar plc lg..dah serikkk...otak aku mmg tak boley terima kot bnda2 elektrik n elektronik ni...esok aku likkkk.tak taw aku sebenarnyer happy atau tak

wanita yang kau pilih - rossa

Malam selalu panjang
Di waktu aku merindukanmu
Kau bisa menjaga aku
Hingga diriku merasa teduh

Aku seperti kamu
Menginginkan dan memerlukanmu
Karena kita tak mampu
Selalu pergi menjauh

Kau jadikan aku ini
Wanita yang kau pilih
Untuk jadi kekasihmu
Dan kau pun tlah aku minta
Setia sepertiku

Aku percaya penuh
Kau kan buatku bahagia
Karna cinta tercipta
Datangnya dari dalam hatiku

Kau jadikan aku ini
Wanita yang kau pilih
Untuk jadi kekasihmu
Dan kau pun tlah aku minta
Setia sepertiku

listen to this songs..really remind me to you, my dearest hubby...bie..hunny taw hunny byk sshkan bie...but i didnt meant to..the way we express ourself memang totally diff..sumtymes hunny rasa hunny tak kenal b..n sumtymes huny rasa huny terlebih kenal plak..hahahah..funny kan...

pumpkin dear...i donno why ..but i need you...everyday...maybe im just acting stupid just to get ur attention..ntah..just dunt go away k...ive planned so many things in my life with you..and cant imagine my life without you...i wil try my besh for you..just ayat setia seprti aku tu..fuhhhh...gler2 kena try my besh ni..hahahhah

xoxo,
hunny bee